First let me thank EVERYONE for all the prayers, good thoughts, love and well wishes! It has been truly humbling and overwhelming (in a good way) to have such an outpouring of love from people I have known a long time and those I've only known a short time (and never met)!!!
Since October when I got diagnosed, I have gone through a myriad of emotions: disbelief, incredulousness, acceptance, dread, and on the day of my surgery (lumpectomy) which was yesterday: joy. Yes, I actually felt joyful. I was singing praise songs (Make my life a prayer to You and I love You, Lord - I waited until everyone was out of the room).
I had no fear at all and this I attribute to all your prayers but also to the fact that if the worse should ever happen I would be in heaven with my Lord; the place I have longed to be ever since I read my first book of life after death experiences. (Rebecca Springer, "Within the Gates" and Life after Life by Moody).
I have been a believer since 1977 and through all my years of reading, study, etc., on bible prophecy, the books of the bible and after death experiences, I have come to the realization that God is in absolute control of EVERYTHING. He knows the days He has ordained for me and my number is not up until He decides.
Just to give you a little background on me: I was born 2.5 months early in 1959. My mom's water broke and she was slowly leaking embryotic fluid for 10 days, desperate to keep me inside for as long as possible. I was 3 lbs 6 oz when I was finally born. In between me and my sister, my mom had already lost 3 babies.
When I was still an infant, I remember dumping a pot of scalding hot coffee on myself. A fast thinking neighbor got my clothes off before I was scalded.
Twice I survived what could have been a fatal car accident. Once in my mom's car (that had no seatbelts at the time) when she spun out (I happened to be turned backwards and grabbed onto the back of the seat at that moment) and another when my car door flung open on the freeway and I managed to hang on for dear life.
In my 20's I got ulcerative colitis and suffered for 4 years until I underwent surgery to remove my colon. Everything that could go wrong did: I threw up all my meds the night before, my NG tube came out and had to be put back in while I was awake, I had an obstruction (twisting of the bowel) that could have killed me and necessitated a second surgery. I was in Hoag a total of 28 days.
For some reason God has kept me here through all of this.
Everyone of those accounts I've read and heard of people returning from heaven have made me long for heaven. In fact, none of them wanted to come back except those with young children who they still wanted to raise.
The best and most recent book I have read on the subject (and I've read a lot) is Randy Kay's "Revelations from Heaven" (link below). His book and his videos on YouTube have been of particular comfort during this time.
I have countless "pink sisters" who are all fighting this cancer battle. Some are in the early stages and some late. There are many heart-breaking stories that haunt me. So many women whose spouses and long-term boyfriends have left them when they needed them the most. Those who are terminal, in despair and fighting for their lives. Those with no support systems like I have. It breaks my heart to read some of these accounts and I wish so much that I could share the love, comfort and hope that is found in Jesus, no matter what the outcome.
Heaven is far more real and amazing than we can imagine and I want to share that hope with everyone I know! Below is the link to Randy Kay's testimony about heaven. This guy is the REAL deal. He weeps whenever he recounts his experience. And for those of you who have beloved pets, he saw his childhood dog, Cody, in heaven!
Here is the link to his book on Amazon: