In The Home Stretch

It's Baseball season so perhaps my husband will read this post for a change because of the above image.

I'm in the home stretch. Seven more radiation treatments to go. My skin looks like it has broken out in teenage acne. It's normal, the nurses reassure me. My skin is hot to the touch and I'm applying every approved lotion as much as possible.

I saw a photo on the breast cancer board yesterday of a poor woman whose skin looked like it had been seared with a hot branding iron from the radiation burns. Another friend said that her skin turned black.

The burning can last for a week after the last treatment so I'm not out of the woods yet.

I'm feeling pretty down in the dumps. I've put on weight since being taken off hormones. I'm bald forever because of alopecia. I'm scarred from head to toe and feeling very UGLY.

I've recently lost the friendship of someone I held very dear and don't know why. My husband is going on a week business trip during my last week of radiation; probably the worst time to go so I'll be alone and able to wallow in my misery and have to deal with any of the reactions on my own.

Looming on the horizon is the possibility that more cancer will be discovered and the doctors will want me to go on chemotherapy. NO. Not going to do it.

All of this brings to mind the old childhood song: Everybody hates me, nobody likes me....guess I'll eat some worms!

This too shall pass but in the mean time I'm going to indulge in a momentary pity party.