So last night Michael and I had a serious conversation about whether or not I should go back on the hormone blocking medication. Since I went off it over a month ago I have felt better and actually been able to lose some weight. My face has lost the huge satchel under my chin and I went down two sizes in my jeans (I was getting up into size 18). I'm scheduled to go back on a new drug on the 20th and I really don't want to. I read a post yesterday about a 67 year old woman who runs five miles every day and eats very healthy yet despite all that sees her weight creeping up because of the drugs!
Michael and I snuggled in bed and I asked him how he felt about it. I could do everything the doctor wants and the cancer can still show up somewhere else like it has with so many other women in my position! There are no guarantees. I have a 10% chance of reoccurrence with the drugs and 20% without. A lot of women have stopped these drugs because their quality of life and health in other areas just wasn't worth it to them to continue.
Michael was so upset he didn't sleep well last night. He said he would feel terribly guilty if he signed off on my quitting and the cancer came back. He doesn't want to lose me and would prefer to have a fat me to no me.
What would you do?