To Chemo or Not to Chemo - that is the Question

I was supposed to have a follow up with the oncologist tomorrow and frankly I was dreading it. I REALLY don't want to do chemo. The list of possible after effects is long and horrific:

1) Infection

2) Bruising and bleeding

3) Hair loss (including eyelashes and eyebrows) - CHECK - already lost all my hair due to alopecia

4) Nausea and vomiting (hmmmm....maybe I can finally lose some weight)

5) Nerve and joint pain (strangely enough, I'm seeing Claritin recommended for this on the boards)

6) Constipation and diarrhea (not a problem - had my internal plumbing rerouted in the late 1980s)

7) Rash (NO THANKS)

8) Mouth Sores (double NO THANKS)]

9) Breathing difficulty (that's a problem)

10) Pain (gimme some DRUGS)

11) Fingernails lifting (that's a new one I have been seeing on Breast cancer support boards and it's freaking me out)

I am seriously tempted to challenge the necessity of getting chemotherapy when I finally have my appointment on the 28th.

Of course, all of my relatives and friends are weighing in: from: DON'T GET CHEMO under any circumstances!!! To: We know someone who had stage 4 cancer, got chemo, did fine and is 15 years out and is cancer free.

I truly appreciate the love and care that has gone into everyone's response to my diagnosis but I honestly wish God would tell me what to do. I'm 62 and it looks like I'm facing several years of misery masked as therapy to eradicate this disease. It isn't a surgery with a 6-8 week recovery period (like I had in 1988) with a long healthy life afterwards.

Even with chemotherapy there's a chance it will come back. What's a girl to do?

Please ask God to show me clearly what His will is. After all, Father does know best!

Thanks!